I was teaching math to this high schooler once and she was struggling with this one problem.
I, being the teacher, knew the answer and the different ways to get to it. However, the student didn’t.
I gave her tips and hints so that she would be trying to solve the problem in the right direction. I can see that she was so close to the solution, yet she doesn’t know it.
She was working hard, but she had no idea if she was even close to the solution or not. When is it too soon for her to give up? [Btw she did solve it.]
Should she ever have given up?
Should she have sought out help whenever possible?
I can’t give you a definite answer because every situation is slightly different. I do want to run through a checklist that can help you evaluate.
This checklist isn’t made for just the student. It’s also for you to see if you are giving up too soon.
Why are you giving up?
**Note - This applies to problems, not people. If someone says no, it means no. Don’t harass people.**
#1 - Because you feel like you tried everything and nothing works.
From experience, when people say this, they often haven’t thought of all the ways that are possible. It’s either they have ignored other people's advice or they are not aware of other options.
When this happens, research more options. You can read books, listen to podcasts, and more, and it will expand the way you think. A lot of times we think we tried everything that’s because we did try everything that we know of.
#2 - Because you are not good enough.
Not all the roadblocks that we have has to do with our knowledge or ability, sometimes it’s mental.
Sometimes we give up because we tell ourselves that we’re not good enough to achieve certain results. We believe we are not the type of person that would have that kind of results, so the image of us even having that success is unfathomable.
When we think this way, we almost gave up mentally before anything even started. With this approach, rarely does anything even work out.
#3 - Because it’s too hard.
Well if you gave up because it’s hard, you’ll probably never learn anything. Why? Anything new is hard. The only reason that you are learning it is because you didn't know it before.
You are gaining new & valuable knowledge to enhance your relationships or life, but learning it will be hard.
It is normal for us to go through the hard process of learning. It’s doable. Just takes time and patience. Most of the rewarding things in life don’t happen instantly. If you are willing to work through it, you will gain results that are much more fulfilling.
#4 - Because you know you are making up excuses.
You know when you are making excuses. Call out your own BS. When you know you are trying to avoid doing something for whatever reason, you might fool other people but you can’t fool yourself.
We all try to justify our excuses, but you want to progress in life, not wasted time.
If you are going to make excuses for yourself all the time, you will not be going anywhere. You will not change. You will have to live with what you currently have.
Excuses are part of procrastination. The problem will still be there when you come back.
#5 - Because you feel like it’s not possible.
If we give up because we don’t think it’s possible, it might be too early.
I’m not saying anything is possible, because you can’t wish your way into becoming Superman. Somethings are not possible. However, there are other ones that are possible, but we can’t imagine it.
Sometimes we don’t think it’s possible, because it’s since we never done it before. We never went through that experience and affirmed that we are possible of doing it.
Of course, you won't FEEL like it’s possible, but do you have the potential of doing it? You just might.
#6 - Because you don’t know what to do.
The technical skills to get to where you need to be can always be learned. All because you don’t know what to do, it doesn’t mean you have to stop there.
You don’t know what to do RIGHT NOW, but that doesn’t have to be you forever.
You can learn, you can grow.
If you don’t know how to do something, learn it. Everyone doesn’t know how to do something at some point in their life.
#7 - Because you are too burned to try again.
If you are emotionally exhausted, yeah I understand. Take a little break. Emotions are some of the things that we have to learn how to manage.
There will be days where you’re just sad and want to do absolutely nothing.
There will be days where you want to throw plates and curse the world.
Not every day will be pleasant but move forward day by day.
#8 - Because you feel like it will never work for YOU.
So this might sound kind of harsh, but your problems are not special.
There are billions of people in this world all unique. We have been living for very minimum 3000 years, so I’m saying that your problems are not going to be special. There is probably at least couple of 100,000 people struggling with the inner issue about life that you are going through right now.
If they managed, you can too.
If they survived, I don’t see why you can’t.
Don’t limit yourself to thinking that you are the only person in this whole entire world that is struggling with this issue.
First Step -
I once didn’t go to a lecture because it was raining. What’s your favorite excuse?
- Augustus
Losing Interests, Losing Relationships [Free PDF]
- Understanding the 5 CAUSES for an emotional wall between you and everyone else.