Limits, like fear, is often an illusion. - Michael Jordan (Former basketball player, 6 times NBA Champion)
Fear is an interesting emotion. It feeds on itself.
If you are scared of giving a presentation, you’ll think about all the things that could go wrong in that presentation. It makes the whole experience worse than it’s supposed to be.
Fear explores multitudes of possibilities.
Unfortunately, it only emphasizes on the negative experiences.
Did all these negative possibilities actually happen?
Of course not, but they already happened in your mind.
It’s an illusion that binds you.
This is why I think fear is more harmful than the actual pain.
#1 - Fear is a perpetual pain.
The thing with fear is that there is no end.
When you fear something, that is what you think about. You can’t tell yourself to not think about it. It can't disappear out of thin air. Fear stays with you and it keeps you there.
Fear is you standing, waiting and anticipating for the pain appear while it never happens. It makes you anxious and on edge. This feeling is everlasting unless you face the pain.
Fear can also go deep.
The more we think about something, the more we dig into the endless possibilities that could go wrong. One small mistake could feel like the end of the world. You start to react to all the possible ways it could hurt you and all the possibilities after that.
The human imagination and creativity are limitless, but it will work against you in times of fear.
Limitless Possibilities = Limitless Pain.
That’s fear.
#2 - Pain will end if you feel into it.
The good thing about pain is it will end if you lean into it.
It may not be immediate.
It might be excruciatingly painful at the moment.
But it will end.
There are pretty traumatic pains that we have in life. It is very difficult to face them, but if you lean into it and accept it and face it, you won’t be afraid of it anymore.
Pain matures you and teaches you how to handle life's emotions. You will learn how to feel through it & embrace the pain.
This can be losing a loved one, a breakup, or a rejection.
Lean into these seemingly endless painful memories and a rollercoaster ride of emotions. It will stretch our limits and our fear of pain.
#3 - Fear amplifies your pain.
The more you think about something. the more you focus on it. the more you will be aware of it.
Same with fear.
The more you are aware of the potential pain, the more it paralyzes you from your current position. It makes the potential pain that you will experience 10 times or 100 times worse than it actually was.
Have you ever had that moment where you thought to yourself...
“Hey, …that actually wasn’t so bad.”
Yeah, that just means you thought about the pain too much before you actually did it. Fear distorts your imagination for the worse.
#4 - Fear becomes a wall.
Fear makes you stay in the same place. That’s one of the worst reasons for fear.
Not only is fear painful, but it restrains you from growth.
When you go through pain, it stops. You can now reflect on the results of that pain. You can think about how it was worse or better than you thought or what you could have done differently. This is because you have tangible results that you can see.
However, with fear, there is nothing. You are afraid of the POTENTIAL pain. It becomes a huge wall that will exist as long as you avoid it. You can only know what COULD happen but not actually what happens. That alone hold you back.
You withdraw to places that make you feel safe, but that will restrain your freedom.
The emotion numbness you feel,
the lack of confidence you have, and
the fear of intimacy you hate
will all be there.
Fears should be faced.
First Step -
If I wasn’t afraid, I could…
- Augustus
Losing Interests, Losing Relationships [Free PDF]
- Understanding the 5 CAUSES for an emotional wall between you and everyone else.