Hi! I’m Augustus. 

Are you looking to understand why you’ve -

• lost interest in life & relationships, 

• felt like something is wrong with you or 

• want to improve your social skills to catch up in life?

You are in the right place. =)

Here, I talk about these topics weekly to make connecting with people & communities easier. 

I write articles, make videos, and create classes covering these topics. If you want to hear more, let’s keep in touch.

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Now, more about me.
I’ve been shy for a good 18 years of my life.

NOT fun.

Being shy wasn’t easy. It honestly makes going through life much harder.

I was usually more concerned with what others would think of me than my own needs.

Because of that, I didn't want to offend people and tried to be too nice to everyone.

While other people felt free to do what they wanted, I couldn’t.
So most of the time, I just didn't talk.

I was very quiet & can barely stand up for myself.
I wanted to talk & had great ideas, 
but I doubted myself too much to do anything.

The Downward Spiral

The main downturn that caused this whole thing to happen for me was in grade school.

I remembered having to play a recorder (google it if you don’t know what it is. It’s an instrument.) in front of the whole music class.

I was not good at class performance. Well…any performances.

I was NERVOUS.

Palm sweaty, knees heavy, yeah all that.

what if I messed up?
what if everyone hated me?
did I practice enough?
ok, DON’T do anything stupid.

I just want to get this over with.
Then probably the worst thing happened.

I played a wrong note.

OH SHOOT… did that just happen?
…..

I stopped.
But it actually felt like time stopped. 

Why isn’t anyone saying anything?
Say something people!

Then… the music teacher jumped in.

“Laugh at him.” 

Huh?

Yes, you heard right. 
That was exactly what the teacher commanded the class to do. 

Then the whole class just ERUPTED.

I really wanted to disappear at that moment.
It wasn't a bad dream that could wake up from.

The nightmare was reality.

This is a classic “how to destroy a kid’s self-esteem 101”.

I felt embarrassed, ashamed, humiliated. 

Very bitter towards the music teacher. I think at one point I even broke a pencil hoping that something bad would happen to her. (It didn't work.)

This teacher that was supposed to “take care” & “educate me” BETRAYED me.

I TRUSTED this teacher, and I got humiliated. 

The Invisible Scar

But it didn’t stop there.

…something internal happened.

I started to feel like something was wrong with me. 
Something flawed. Like i didn’t deserve the good things. 
I somehow became a lower class person.

Because of this, I withdrew.

I didn’t join clubs. 
Didn’t talking to people. 
Avoided trying anything new.

You don’t have to try to exclude me. I MADE myself an outcast.

I mean if you felt like you don’t deserve something, why even try to reach for it? It’s better to not want anything at all if i’m just going to lose it later on.

How does it feel to think that everything you touch turns into dust?

Great opportunities looked like chances for me to look like a clown to everyone else.

I forfeited chances at competitions since “I didn’t want to look stupid.” or “somehow I’ll lose the success.”

I loved to have a trophy, 
but i wasn’t sure if i can KEEP it.

Low self-esteem is a seed that just keeps on growing and growing over time. It dominates your life the more you let it. It isolates you & keeps you there.

I realized that the longer i’ve let my self-esteem stay low, the more it pulls me down.

I was inept socially, since i didn’t talk to people that much.
i was inept emotionally, because I’ve lived in fear.
I was not mature, because i was scared of new experiences.
However, I was very good at being isolated.

I saw the whole world go by as I remain in the same place.

The Change

It wasn’t until later on in my life that I’ve understood the impact that self-worth has on my life. 

I went through books, watched videos, and read articles. 

I had to go through some tough changes to uproot the damages that it has done to my life.

Relearned all the social cues and inner development. (You actually just have to learn the basics social skills. Very doable. Confidence is the harder part.)

One other benefit that came out of the whole mess was that I didn’t care about what people think as much because I was isolated for so long during the learning process.

I was fine being alone as much as being with other people.

To be honest, looking back, being laughed at didn’t seem like a big deal, but when my self-esteem was fragile, I was pretty vulnerable.

If the foundations of the self-esteem was weak in the first place, it doesn’t take a lot to ruin someone.

…so don’t tell yourself to “get over it” because you haven’t went through a trauma.

I’m here to help, not for you to feel like a burden.

But i also realized that it is reversible. 
I felt like if i can do it, you can do it.

I don’t claim to have ALL the answers, since our pasts are all different, but I hope i can help.

If you want to hear more from me, I have a weekly newsletter with all my thoughts, classes & updates. =D

Take care,

- Augustus
Find me at: contact@augustus-self.com