Summary
- Some people really don’t like this word. Some people want it to happen SOOO badly. Commitments. Not just in relationships but everywhere else too. When we are committed to something, we promise to give it our energy and attention. Kids are commitments. Work is commitment. Relationship are commitments too. What makes people avoid it? What makes it so scary? Is it the time and effort? Or do people just want freedom as opposed to constraint? These are all valid reasons. However, I want to talk about the core perspective. Some of the main barriers in the mind that is causing commitment issues.
- Don’t search for a person to make your life better. Become a person that can make your life and others' lives better.
- Always be searching for something to fill your life with, and you’ll be waiting your whole life. - This one is more the people that dabbles in everything but doesn’t give a lot of effort. This can be relationships, work, hobbies, or life. They are constantly on the go to find the best thing so they can be happy. They want the feeling of happiness. I’ll be straight with you. That’s not going to happen. What is happening is searching for things to fill up your life is the same as looking for others to solve your problems for you. Problem of happiness in this case. However, this problem requires inner work, not outer work. Things on the outside can only make us happy for a transient period of time, so look for purpose within.
- Uncertainty, especially in the area of security, causes lack of commitment.
- Unwillingness to take steps towards uncertainty is the limitation for many. - Most of the time, please do your homework in the commitment you are about to take. If it’s a person, look for red flags or major character flaws. If it’s a house, check how it’s going to affect the finances and the safety of the neighborhood. Yet, there always comes to a time where you have to take that leap of faith. Uncertainty is not a beneficial place for people to stay in. Yes or No, pick one. A lot of times people actually want to say no, but they are afraid of losing what they already have. Another reason is people want to benefit of commitment without the responsibility of commitment. This usually means they have some growing up to do.
- The more you push someone, the more they push back.
- If you want someone to do something in the long run, you have to inspire them to see the reason for doing it. - There is a common saying: “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” If we want others to commit to something, we can’t push them to it. No amount of nagging or force will get someone to willingly do something for long periods of time. In fact, if we use force to get someone to do something, we will push them away more. They will no longer feel like it’s their choice to the commitment. If we want to lead someone towards a decision, we have to inspire them and help them see the reasons why. Ultimately, still letting them pick the choice. If they still insist on waiting longer, you also have the choice to move on.