Summary
- Maybe shame is something we feel weekly or even daily? Why do we feel this way? Is there a way I can change so I don’t have to feel this way anymore? It’s that crooked tooth or heavy waistline people always mention when they talk about me. Now, I just don’t feel like doing anything anymore, because everything about me or what I do is shameful. It’s a pit that I can’t get out of.
- Shame is when we feel unwanted by other people, especially the ones we want acceptance from.
- People are designed for community, so it’s not bad to want to be accepted. - It is dangerous for a person when the person’s identity is dependent on the community. Extreme shame is a result of a person being rejected by a community.
- Make your solution by picking the right community and not avoiding community altogether. - We all want great friends. These are the people we share our lives together with. Friends make life more meaningful. It’s never about the activities, but who you did the activities with.
- Remember to lend a hand to others that are battling through shame. - If we manage grow ourselves past our feelings of shame, help others to breakthrough this painful experience. You can be the one person that shared that one wisdom, which changed someone’s life forever.
- Knowing who you are is at the foundation of every social relationship.
- If we rely on others for our identity, their every action has tremendous weight in our lives. No one can bear that kind of weight. - Imagine if someone’s world rises and falls on what you said to them. That’s a lot of pressure and responsibility. Everything you said could influence the person’s mood swings at the drop of a hat. That person’s life feels like a rollercoaster. Unstable and ever changing. Our identity should not be solely tied to external sources. We have to know who we are first before beginning any relationships.
- Being needy is when we want others to validate our self worth. - Neediness is wanting others to direct your life. We are all needy in some way, and it’s ok to be needy sometimes. However, we need to be the captain of our own lives. It doesn’t matter how much advice other people give you if you don’t know where you are going.
- Let’s break the cycle of shaming together.
- Remember shame is part of the human emotions. Our goal here is to learn to feel, understand, and manage emotions. Not suppress them. If you suppress emotions, you will have long term problems.
- First step. Honestly facing and embracing yourself. Practice saying to the mirror “I like myself.” Not other people. For some of you this will be extremely hard, but it will help. Try this 10 times, everyday for 2 weeks. Say it like you mean it. This is you starting to acknowledge your own value as a person.
