Summary
- Criticisms are negative perspectives imposed on us.
- Our experiences are changed from neutral or positive to negative by criticisms. - When others criticize us, they are showing us how they view the world. In reality, other people’s criticisms show us more of who they are than what is said about us. So listen carefully to what their world is like, and remember that their perspective isn’t your perspective.
- Let’s say you got a lollipop. You’re excited, but your friend said, “I hate lollipops.” There is a negative energy that brings you down from that comment. At the moment, you might feel like “I didn’t ask for your opinion. I am just enjoying my lollipop.”, but people naturally express what they believe about everything. In every conversation, we are constantly learning about each other’s perspective and mindset.
- Criticisms are not just only downers, but they are personal attacks. - Criticisms not only says an offensive comment, but it’s an offensive comment about US as people! It’s not only that our shirts doesn’t look good, but we are less valuable as people because of it. That one kind of STINGS! Remember this is just how the critic views us, and what’s being said is most likely not true. For the people that feel like they HAVE to bring other people down are in fact very insecure about themselves.
- We are afraid the criticisms might be true about us, and that possibility gives us pain.
- Criticisms reveal truths about ourselves that we don’t want to admit or feel insecure about. - Maybe we are already not feeling so good about our bodies, and someone just decided to make us feel worse by tell us “We look a little bigger than usual.” What do THEY know about trying to eat on a strict diet and have no progress?! This is when our insecurities comes to the surface. Whenever we touch a freshly cut wound, it’s really PAINFUL! So these criticisms can be guides to show you where you are emotionally hurt.
- Criticism reveals holes in our confidence, not our abilities. - You don’t need to be perfect to be confident, because there are NO perfect people! Strengths can be weaknesses, and the reverse is true also. Understand that flaws are just flaws, but you can still accept them and be fine with it. We can be confident flawed people.
- Example - If we are self-conscious about the shape of our face, it’s more painful when someone criticizes it. If deep down inside we believe that it’s a possibility, fear and pain comes with it.
- Strength of criticisms reveals the fact that we care more about what others think of us than we think.
- Bottom line is: if we don’t care about something, it won’t affect us at all in any way. - Others can hurt us to the extent that we let them. However, this is still an ideal situation to have total control of our environment. We are always influenced by people around us, so sometimes we have to care. The best thing we can do to build ourselves up is to only let positive people become our closest friends.
- Dangers
- Proverb: “Constant dripping of water wears away a stone.”
- Small criticisms, with consistency, can still make mental dents.
