What Do People Expect From Friendships?

Summary

  • Friendships are confusing. It’s like only one level down from a romantic relationship, which is confusing enough as it is. But let’s just stick with being friends. We all like friends, especially ones that care about us. Friends are our main support. Got to learn how to make them.
  • Define friends vs acquaintance. 
    • Friends lift you up and try to help you, and they will stick by you. - I feel like nowadays the definition of friends becomes more and more diluted. What do friends really mean to us? Friends to me should back you when it counts. That’s the difference between friends and acquaintances. Friends aren’t there only when it’s convenient. They will stick with you through the hard times. When you fall, you can expect them to catch you. These are like the loyal fans of a team, not the bandwagoners.
    • Acquaintances are the people that are there, but they won’t really help you. - Acquaintances aren’t bad just because they aren’t as close as your real friends, because realistically, we don’t have so much time that we could have  everyone be a friend. Close friends need time and commitment, and all of us only have 24 hours to spend. Acquaintances are great to have; just make sure you are taking care of your close friends first.
  • If the expectations for friendship is different on both sides, you have a problem.
    • Some of us are looking for deep relationships and friends where we can share our lives with, but others just looking of a group to hang out with once a month. - Make sure everyone is on the same page, since people all see friends differently. Some are “If you are friends, you are friends for life.”. Others are “If you talked once, you are friends.” Look for the people you feel like are looking for the same kind of friendship as you are.
  • Generally it’s the same, but the expectation, depth are different.
    • Look how often they hang out with their closest friends - good estimate. - People expect connections from friendships, but just at different levels. One of the ways you could see how someone sees his or her relationships is through commitment. And…when I’m talking commitment, it’s not like a marriage thing. It’s more like everything. If he says he is going to go somewhere, does he consistently show up? If she sees the next flashy thing, does she jump ships quickly? These are the questions you should be asking if you want to find a CLOSE friend, because you need someone that you can count on to show up when you need them.