Social Anxiety: I Can't Handle Social Situations

Summary

  • So who wouldn’t want to confidence in a social situation? It’s nice being able to just be yourself without feeling anxious or nervous. Talk to the people you want to talk to. However, not all of us grew up with the upbringing of good self-esteem. Not really our fault of our past, but we can still make decisions to change the future. If we are not confident right now, we don’t have to stay that way in the future. But what we do need is commitment. Commitment to face our fears. Commitment to change. Commitment to be consistent. These are all characteristics that we have control over. If you don’t like your social capabilities, you can change. It’s not easy, but we’re with you.
  • Right now is never the end if you are willing to change.
    • Feel super anxious. Blanked out. Don’t know what to say. Super awkward. - This might be the experience a lot of us go through, and it’s ok. Personally, I think not every conversation is smooth. Not even the normal conversations. Society anxiety comes up because we are not used to handling the situation. If we are suddenly face with a situation we have no idea how to handle, we would all panic a little. Now another factor is in the amount of importance you have placed in the situation. The higher the stakes are in the event, the more nervous we become. In other words, society anxiety is us facing a situation we are not used to handling that we think is extremely important. However, this isn’t the end of the story. The story ends when you give up. Willingness to change determines your future.
    • If people are talking about things you don’t know, ask questions. - Asking questions is a practical tactic to help you understand the other people and help you shift the attention onto the other person. DO NOT interrogate. Ask a question. Listen to the answer. Respond to the answer. Then ask another question. When you care about what the other person has to say, you set the example for how they should care for you.
  • We often forget change takes time and persistence.
    • Practice - Talk to a picture first. Then practice talking to someone you feel comfortable with. Make handling social anxiety a progressive work. Step by step and little by little. Talking to a picture is a good way start off a non-threatening situation for you to practice talking. Pretending that you are in a simulated conversation with someone helps your mind prepare for the anxiety and you can stop at any time you want. Practice until you feel comfortable before moving on to talking to a person. Good luck!