Summary

Maybe you can think of a time where someone pressured you into doing something. Perhaps you can think of another time where you changed yourself so you can be accepted. Maybe a different haircut, a different hobby, or even a different face? When is it ok to change for someone? Where exactly is the boundary between who you are and the opinions of others? We don’t want to be a pushover nor do we want to be a selfish jerk. Where do I draw the line?
Make choices based on you, not what will make other people happy.
- Great relationships are one of the primary factors in determining a fulfilling life; however, this doesn’t mean you should indiscriminately do things to make these people happy. Caring for someone doesn’t always mean making them happy. It means doing what is best for them. Same thing goes for us. To care for ourselves doesn’t always mean it’s going to feel good. Taking over shifts for all your coworkers because they are going on a cruise can make others happy, but you are hurting yourself. Learn to take actions base on what will care for both you and others, not what will make others happy. Actions based solely on emotions are dangerous.
Making decisions for yourself require a solid identity.
- Not knowing yourself is like a ship with no anchor. You’ll never be able to ground yourself to a location. The world is changing at an amazing pace. If you don’t know yourself, you might find yourself blown into unwanted places. As people, we all need core values to live by. Our values exists as our internal compass. Without an internal compass, we have no choice but to follow the paths others give us.
Respect yourself more than wanting acceptance.
- We are people deserving more respect. In our minds, it might not be uncommon to think what others say are more important than what we say. “They know what they are talking about.” or “I’ll go along with it, because I don’t want to be excluded from the group.” Being excluded is horrible, but being accepted in a toxic group is worse. Respect yourself enough to do actions that might be painful but will protect yourself in the long run. All of us should strive to be individuals that understand their own needs thoroughly.
- What is one that you don’t want to compromise but have been compromising all this time?