Once I saw these three little girls playing together, and for some reason, one of the girls started to get left out. I could see the little girl tearing up over losing her playmates. She tried to play by herself, but she quickly loses interest. She wanted to belong to the group.
That’s the feeling of loneliness.
Some of us are pretty familiar with this feeling. Short term loneliness is ok, but prolonged isolation could alter the human psyche.
On a more surface level, isolation takes away our ability to talk with others in context. We might know the language, but we don’t get the culture of how to use the language in that particular context.
Our social etiquette is another aspect that starts to become out of synch. Saying and doing things at the wrong time. Remember how awkward it is when someone laughed at something that wasn’t supposed to be funny?
However, this is only the tip of the iceberg. The real deviation of the isolated person comes from the lack of emotional health.
As human being, we need affections from one another. Hugs, care, or sharing burdens. This is the emotional dimension of people.
Now just imagine with me. You are only allow to eat one piece of bread a week for 3 months! [I might faint after a month.] What would you do at the first sight of an all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant?
I know I’d be like, "DANG. Give me EVERYTHING.” That is how an isolated person will respond to the first sign of community. On top of that, due to the fact that the person has been isolated for so long, he or she will continuously crave for affection even though they had enough.
Another significant difference is the drop in self esteem. Being rejected by society for so long, you start to doubt who you are as a person altogether.
Any type of emotional damage are not easy to heal. It takes time and persistence. It will not change overnight.
Where Do We Go From Here?
Start with discovering your identity if you are the isolated person. I know the craving for friendship is strong, but focus on yourself first. Focus on gratitude for yourself as a person. Gratitude combats the negative self view of yourself. To establish and maintain any kind of healthy relationship, a healthy view of yourself is required.
How do you establish a strong identity though?
Spending time getting to know yourself. You have to ask yourself tough questions. Here are some of you can ask yourself:
What is your purpose in life?
What defines you as a person?
What makes you valuable as a person?
What are your strengths and weaknesses?
What are your fears?
Use this exercise to define who you are as a person. For every answer you give, you are showing who you really are a little more.
