What exactly am I doing wrong? Maybe I’m just naturally bad at talking with people. I wanted to say something but I always mess up.
Those might be some of the thoughts we say to ourselves way too often. I want to talk about something that is a lot of fundamental and frequently overlooked, which is the way we are presenting ourselves to the society.
The mistakes that we usually make comes from not knowing we are making the mistakes in the first place. If we can recognize and correct these mistakes, we would improve so much.
Having more awareness of how our minds and bodies work allows us to understand what actions we need to take to gain control over ourselves. When we have full control over our emotions and minds, we can approach socially settings with confidence.
One of the points I want to talk about this time is openness.
When I say openness, I'm talking about intention. Why are you talking to someone? Are you trying to get someone to like you? You have to let the other person know why you are talking to them.
It sounds obvious and redundant, but trust me, it helps with getting a good start. Most of the people are constantly trying to figure out if you are a friend or foe. If you outrightly show your intent, they can at least trust that you're honest.
However, this might not be the problem for some of us. We might want to be friends with someone, but we are so self-conscious about ourselves that the words don't come out right. From the outside, we may appear to seem scared, standoff-ish, confusing, or awkward to other people.
Openness requires you to be in the present. Focus on just talking to the other person. Not on yourself. Not on what other people might think about what you might say. Focus on having a clear intent and an openness to your intent.
What happens when you are fully in the moment is that your body language starts to open up and you don't appear to seem like you are hiding anything. This sets the tone for a good conversation. It makes you seem approachable because people don't have to guess what your intentions are.
Question for you - What’s your biggest obstacle to becoming more socially approachable?
