Summary
- “My cat died.” “I have to stay home and help my dog eat dinner.” Somewhat generic excuses, but we all know what an excuse sounds like. We are all smart enough to know when others don’t like us. Excuses become this thing people say because they don’t want to “hurt our feelings”. But both sides KNOW what’s going on, and the worst part is we never know that the actual reason is. That sucks. Can’t even know why we got rejected in the first place.
- There is nothing you can do to change others.
- Always focus on things you have control over, because once we extend that need for control, bad things happen. We get anxious, frustrated, bitter, because things didn’t go our way. Don’t try to control beyond yourself. We can improve our driving skills, but we can’t control aggressive & dangerous drivers on the road. By swearing or giving people the universal sign language isn’t going to change people. They have to be the ones that change themselves.
- Figure out if it’s you or them.
- Figuring out the problem is tricky, because when we see ourselves, we usually think we are pretty nice and decent. This is one of the human bias we all have. "The average person thinks they are smarter than the average person.” You get my point? So we have to have an outside view of what we look like to other people. You can think you’re the nicest person all you want, but if everyone else don’t think so, it doesn’t matter.
- Ask people closest to you for the truth. Sometimes your friends might not tell you the truth, because they are afraid of hurting your feelings. However, if you make them feel comfortable enough, they’ll tell you.
- Figuring out the problem is tricky, because when we see ourselves, we usually think we are pretty nice and decent. This is one of the human bias we all have. "The average person thinks they are smarter than the average person.” You get my point? So we have to have an outside view of what we look like to other people. You can think you’re the nicest person all you want, but if everyone else don’t think so, it doesn’t matter.
- Make changes, but not expecting immediate differences.
- We live in a world where we want things instantly. Fast foods, 2 day deliveries, and instant customer service. The truth is rarely does anything good comes easy or fast. Having the expectation of instant results will ruin your life. You will on the lookout for shortcuts & cheats to your problem when in reality it will probably cause even more problems. You don’t fix a smoking car by stopping the smoke. You fix it by fixing the engine. Changes are hard, but they are long lasting and will get you far.
