Relationships are always complicated. Nothing is simple because no two individuals are the same. However, we can still learn from the general social behaviors of people.

When we feel used by other people, it can mean two things. They are actually using you [This can only happen if you let them.] or you perceive others to be using you when they aren't. Here we are just going to talk about the former one.

The real problem here isn't other people, it's you not trusting your own intuition. Us as people, we are all very intelligent beings. We have thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and volitions; however, we don't always trust in them. When we distrust ourselves, it's a scary world. I doubt my decisions constantly and think of other people's opinions as superior. I don't think anyone wants to distrust themselves.

So we have to learn to be independent. We have to learn to trust and defend ourselves as a person, because you might be your only line of defense. When your defense is down, you can get ruined as a person by a simple virus. Protect yourself.

How do you do this? Learn to develop a trust in your intuition. [I also answered this in Quora]

Do you constantly doubt everything that you do? Do you doubt your performance? Do you doubt your judgment more than other people’s? You can feel and know what is right, but if you still go against your judgment, you are doubting your judgment by heart.

This exercise I call Stand Your Ground - This is a practice to help you mentally stand up to opposition and conflict.

Pick something small about yourself like your favorite color or food. [Notice how no one else can tell you want your favorite color or food is, so you can NEVER be wrong.]

Ask 1 or 2 people to question or doubt your statement constantly for 2 minutes. This can be anything to detract you from what you believe. [Some of the statements they might say: Your favorite food isn’t _______! If you don’t like this other food, you’re a moron.]
Stand as firmly as you can on your preference. Calmly answer and respond to them “No. My preference is actually _______.”

This helps you become comfortable in the face of conflict, which a lot of us try to avoid. But in order to protect yourself, you have to learn to reaffirm your boundaries and who you are as a person.

Fill in the Blank - I feel used by people when _______.