Summary
- We all feel jealous sometimes. Someone has something we don’t have. Why couldn’t I be the one that got the promotion? I worked here much longer. This ISN’T right. The situation maybe just or unjust, and we would still feel the blood rushing to our face. This is one of our emotions. Jealousy. Let’s explore why we feel jealous in the first place, and learn how to sooth ourselves.
- Someone has something we don’t. Why compare?
- Comparing is the root reason behind jealousy. But why do we compare? We compare, because we don’t know where we really stand in the community. If I really know who I am, I don’t need to know the value of other people in order for me to feel good about myself. Just the same as if my shirt is red, the color isn’t going to change because someone else’s shirt is green. It’s going to be red regardless. However, if we are unsure of who we are, we can only compare to find out if we are RELATIVELY better than other people. This also means, our status could change at any time.
- Jealousy communicates the instability of our identity.
- Rather than using jealous to spread negative energy around, use it to understand ourselves. Emotions show us what we are strong and weak in. Jealousy reveals the weakness of our identity. Having a strong solid sense of who you are dissipates jealousy, because your identity isn’t dependent on anyone else. No one has influence over your value of yourself. No event could change the way you see yourself, so there is no intrinsic need to compare yourself with anyone. No need to be jealous. Practically what does ALL this mean? Understand and remember what makes you valuable as a person. What gives you value as a person?
- Grow yourself, not tear others down.
- If you tear someone down, you are still the same person as before. However, if you grow, you become a better person, and you can help the other person become better too. Tearing others down because you don’t want them to have more success than you is destructive, and you are not a better person as a result. The people who are strong protect others and raise up other leaders, not push others down so they could feel good about themselves. True strength is found within.
