Summary

Silent attack!
- Shame is not visible. It’s a negative belief inside us. It attacks our inner self and making us feel bad about ourselves.
- It's that small voice inside us saying that we’re not good enough, worthless, even though we look completely fine on the outside.
Correct understanding of shame frees us.
- Education is always the first step to change.
- If you’re sick, you have to understand what illness you have first before you pick a medicine.
- Understanding how shame binds us and when we feel shame allows us to gain more control over it. We can learn how to face it and be much freer. You won’t have to constantly obsess over the smallest things because you are afraid of what others might think.
- Hair is done right. Feeling overweight or too skinny. Too old.
- The only way is through.
Defining shame.
- The feel you get when you did something wrong and you link that to says something negative about you as a person.
- Understand that your mistakes, actions or flaws are part of you, but they don’t define your value or your worth.
- I talk about my experience with height - situations where i feel like my height is mentioned. value or worth from my height.
Working through the painful experiences to be strengthened
- After you understand and work through the feeling of shame, you become more aware of why you reacted a certain way. Next time you know how to strengthen yourself in that area. You don’t worry about that part as much anymore.
Different people, different shame.
- Every person might have a different area where they feel shameful or embarrassed in that’s normal.
- You have to be willing to admit to yourself about your source of shame.
You determine the significance.
- All because it seems small to other people doesn’t mean it should seem small to you.
- If it’s affecting our lives, it’s significant.
- This is not a license to blame everyone around us, but it’s admit to ourselves that this area needs my attention.
Society glosses over it
- One of the things people don’t really talk about or want to talk about.
Shame chains you down.
- No one really gets to see who you really are if you are ashamed of your identity.
- Emotionally locked in.
Shame affects multiple parts of our lives
- Sometimes because we’re afraid or ashamed in one area and it affects every parts of our lives. Because of that people don’t get to see your real self. Talents & abilities that only you have.
You are not alone.
- Understand that you’re not alone.
- A lot of times we think we’re the only person in the entire world struggling with this problem. Chances are you’re not.
- If counseling is still a profession, that means that are enough people struggling in this area to be cared for.
- There are more people struggling with this than you think.
This feeling of shame if not dealt with carries over to your adulthood.
How to eliminate shame.
- Internal belief & your self worth is usually outside of yourself.
- Your value as a human being can’t be changed or taken away.
- People might relatively be more or less important in society, but as individuals people, your value is same as anyone else.
You don’t need to feel ashamed of yourself.